Appreciation For Place

Initial Orientation August, 2010

I landed in Manila, Philippines six months ago today. The only other time I've been abroad for so long was when I studied in Beijing. This is a milestone in my 27 months service.

You can read below if you want to know what's going on and how I'm feeling. You may also just stroll through these pictures that show some of the beauty of this place that's been my home for the last six...

Baras, Palo, Leyte

This is a small neighborhood on the beach side where I lived and trained my first three months. It was my first experience of the Philippines, and a place of family, fiestas, and comfort.

Afternoon Strolls

Nanay buying three pinyas for fifty pesos

Balay ni Sta. Monica
House of Santa Monica

Chen, Nanay, Yen
 Dancing, singing and trying to feed me Christmas Day. 

Main Street. It does sell chicken.

The bakery. They sell wine too. 

Pedi Cab - best way to get around. 

Celia & Jenna, Palo Christmas Lights

Nanay Toni has a beautiful garden

Reda and Moogie, two of the four. 

The beauty shop. 

Barangay Hall. 

Simbahan - Church

Groceries. 

Dinner on the porch

Last Week and This Week

You likely know already that I am getting a site transfer. Initially, my managers, myself, family and friends here were hoping I could transfer to another agency within my city, but that organization is going through some internal restructuring and cannot take a volunteer - too bad. There are no other developed agencies (I don't know what developed actually entails, but it can take weeks or months) in my region, so I am not only moving cities I'm leaving my island and Waray-Waray speaking area. I have to learn a new dialect (gah!) and build a new community where I land. At least this is all happening relatively early in my service, just three months into my twenty-four. There is still a lot of time to learn, grow, and try to make an impact.

I've experienced a wide spectrum of emotions. I am frustrated with the office that I was working at - I felt I gave it my all, but things were not improving, so a transfer was a good decision. It is still a big transition. I am sad that I have to leave my friends and family here, and with that all the things I was looking forwarding to doing and seeing with them. I am anxious to know where I will go next, but I am also excited. It wasn't easy going into an office that didn't appreciate my work and me for two whole months. I hope that my next site will be a better match, and that they will be supportive and eager to work with me as a volunteer. I am excited if I do end up learning Tagalog, so that I can have a wider and more practical use of Filipino when I travel here, and so I can chop it up with my Fil-Am homies back in Cali. There is a lot of waiting since I heard two Fridays ago about my transfer. I feel stress during this waiting period. I suppose that range of emotions is not too surprising. I was upset when I heard about my transfer, but I was not surprised.

My site transfer is likely between two organizations in two entirely different areas (Luzon or Visayas). When I know for sure I'll publish it and offer what information I can. For now, I've moved back to my host family in Baras to wait for a decision, and whatever processing that needs happens in the pc office. It feels really good to be here with this family who have shown me a love and commitment that I could not have imagined. 

Tacloban City, Leyte

Tacloban is a small city, but the biggest in region XIII, the Eastern Visayas. My favorite things to do were bike to work, dine with friends, rock climb at Bukid the indoor gym, and thrift shop. Also, soak in the beauty and art on jeepney rides.

Tacloban City - the view from my (previous) desk

These next set of stree art pictures are by my site mate, Mark Fullmer.

"Don't urinate here"

I would see his face riding to and from work. 

Cutest strongest kids at Bukid

Lawrence, 4. 

Bukid on Burgos

Tacloban City Port

Sworn in plus three months...

and, I am getting a site transfer.

Been at my site serving for three months as of today. I've had a rough time in my work office. My supervisor has not approved of my work and me for the last two out of three months. It's been a challenge, and it has not worked out. So, for everyone's sake I am transferring sites. I do not know where. I may stay in Tacloban City or move to another place entirely. I will keep the world updated as news arises.

This is small beans in world events (read up on Egypt lately?), but I really like my city, my host family here, my friends who climb with me every week, and my fellow volunteers who are some of my closest friends here, and would be anywhere else. However, site transfer means so much uncertainty.

I have never been comfortable with uncertainty. I thought this would change after giving my life up of semi-nomadic traveling for pc service. I was wrong. change is still constant - as is uncertainty. My attitude is what needs revamping. So, goes the game of experience and growth.

I'm trying to keep my spirits high, think level headed, and enjoy my days. Yesterday was fiesta in my barangay, and today I'm bbq'ing with friends, so life is still good. Next week I will close up shop with those in my office that matter, and hand off reading materials that I wanted to start with my kids at the Women's Center.

I'll let you know how the transition goes. PC is on my side and looking out for me - I hope you are too! Hugs and smiles from this side.

So, you thinking about applying to PC?

Whatup! I'm approaching my three month mark at site (so, six months in country), and not too much has changed since I last blogged and emailed. I'm here in Manila right now for a few days taking care of a few things and taking in the city.

Back at site, I'm still navigating my work office and trying to get different projects and programs up and running. Some exciting news is that I got selected to be a trainer at a training camp in April, and have a few other volunteer trainings coming up to look forward to. Anyways, for my lack of highlights over the last few weeks I will leave it that: I'm good, happy, working, eating well, loving the rainy season, climbing and running and just living.

I wrote an email recently responding to some of my friend's questions who is considering applying for the PC and thought others might be interested in reading some of the responses...

Saturday January 29, 2011 7:21 AM

1. How structured is your life right now? Do you have lots of freedom? A sub-question of this is do you feel like you have enough structure to make an impact? My concern is that if it's up to me to come up with ways to help I wouldn't have any good ideas. Simultaneously and paradoxically I worry about too much structure and not enough freedom to do what is needed in the community. Can you speak to this dynamic?

This was one of my big concerns too. You’ll hear it endlessly, and obnoxiously, that you ‘have to be flexible and everyone’s experience is different’, but it’s true. I have been frustrated knowing where I should focus my energy, or what it is that I should be doing. It’s all about the site placement on part of PC, which I had very little say in after I submitted my essay work to my country assignment. This lack of control is something I think all PCV have to come to terms with. If you have a preference or want more say, say it from the start, and make it clear.

Most volunteers here in the Phils. have to figure things out on their own. I’m working in a local government.
Keep in mind, though, that my batch and I have been here for 2 months only. In this culture, it often takes 3+ months before they begin to really trust you and recognize your work and relationship in the office. So, I’m speaking from a fresh perspective, and things have not really materialized in terms of work.

One thing I can speak to is, when I was writing my essays and through my interviews I tried to be as honest, objective and narrative about my interest, skills, and personal style as possible - what I really wanted, didn’t want, and didn’t know. Currently I’m working in a community based site (I go out into the neighborhoods and try to organize meetings, as opposed to the other option for my work sector, which is center based).

Every step along the way I tried to say exactly how I am, state my concerns and feel that PC did a good job with my placement. I said I enjoy being social, dynamic work, and don’t like routine or being locked into boring tasks. Now, I have a lot of options to work with, but not much direction. It’s hard to navigate, but I prefer this over a clear outline and not having a say in my own work.

There are so many steps of the process to applying and making it here. If I had to pick one word between ‘structured’ and ‘unstructured’ to describe my PC experience so far, I would say my training was incredibly structured: everyday was pre-planned, and we had very little say where we were going, and had no vacation days, but that is the style of the training team in PC Phils.

Every country runs its own type of PC. And, I really loved my training time, and that it was structured. My work site has been unstructured, I’ve had to navigate things with little support from my managers, (but that is attributed to my batch being twice the size of normal). I think unstructured is how most other volunteers here in PC Phils would say their work is right now, two months in.

2. I hear that the majority of volunteers (especially those without a specific skill set) are "English teachers." Is this simply to give everyone a job and then are PCV's expected to create their own projects apart from that? Are you technically an English teacher despite the fact that you're organizing more of a program?

I am not an English teacher, and do not project my responsibilities going there. I organize youth programs, and run life skills (granted I’m still trying to get this off the ground).  If you do not want to be an English teacher, say that from the get go at your first recruitment interview. I would have liked to be a teacher, I’ve done it before and it provides clear structure, but I was such a mess (about direction in my own life) when I was applying I said I'll go anywhere, and do any job - this worked for me, but if I had any inclination I would have spoken up. If I had to make a change, I wish I put more research into regions and different job sectors.

I think often PCV are put under education to provide a spot for them. This is not necessarily bad. English teacher here in Phils. are expected/encouraged to find secondary projects, and some of them have some amazing ones in their respective communities. My girl, Mel, is a teacher, but she works with a women’s livelihood ngo in her town. I’m helping her facilitate a training next month to teach the women basic marketing/accounting skills to better their livelihood businesses.
 
3. How isolating is it? I see a fair number of pictures of you hanging out with other PCV's and drinking San Miguel. I've heard that it can be a very isolating experience but from what it sounds like you are able to hang out with your fellow PCVs at least during training. Does this change once you get to your site? I assume it depends but am mostly curious to hear about your experience.

Some PCV are really isolated. Within PC Phils, there are volunteers who are 5+ hours away from the next PCV, and maybe the next foreigner even. My situation is unique, I live in a city, and have multiple site mates. My site mate Mark, works downtown with me (he’s a teacher at a university – he actually has a really good blog you can check out http://markfullmer.com/peace-corps-blog
). I have multiple girl friends in the next town over, so a 20 min bike/bus ride. I am ridiculously well connected to them. I love it. Some would hate it. And we were asked during our site placement interviews what we preferred. I was also asked how urban or rural I wanted my permanent site to be. I really love my site and city.

Just remember though, that these things are taken into consideration, but the highest priority is matching of skills and needs. I had a hard time with this... My friend had a reality check with me and reminded me to ask myself what am I doing this for, and it has to go back to wanting to help people where you are needed – even if the realization of your help may not materialize until service is completed. Also, other countries will do things differently than what I am describing.

4. How much "free" time is there? It sounds like you're able to do yoga, jog, climb, play frisbee, explore the city and attend lots of cultural events. Is there a good work life balance?

I feel I have control over my life and time. Most volunteers will say there is way more free time. I feel pretty busy, but that’s cause I’m in a city with hobbies and things that I want to do. Being the first two months I’ve spent a lot of time just getting adjusted, and then there were the holidays which I spent with my host family that I really love, and I was able to travel for Thanksgiving and New Years. I feel busy thinking about the things I need to do, and juggling where to be, but I have free time.

I really enjoy talking about my experience. It helps me process and keep it in perspective, which is easy to lose in the midst of it all. Things are rough, and it’s easy to get caught up in every small inconveniece and turn to sarcasm, or worse becoming jaded, but I love being a PCV right now, and I just always remember, if I stop wanting to be here I can choose to go home. I just have to keep choosing to be here. 

My last words on PC for now is to just apply. The application process is so long (I waited a full year) that you do have to have patience, and just get the thing going, you can pull your application at any time, you may as well get it started, and navigate it as you go (well, this is more my style). You would be a great PCV, and would offer so much. //